They say the person in a relationship who cares the least has all the power. True?
And can you always tell where that power is or does is shift and move throughout the course of a relationship? And does it hold true for any relationship, business or personal?
After all, I watch my girlfriends pine away that men they really like don't call when they say they are going to. And then when they do finally call- my friends drop whatever plans they have to be with these men. Power score? Men, one. My friends? Zero.
Or how about the business relationship where one person owes another something by a deadline and that deadline is missed? Power Score? Ower, one. Owee? Zero.
Or how about the popular kids in high school who seemingly have all the power as everyone wants to be like them to hang with them. You would do anything to be in that "in" crowd, right? Power Score? Cool kids, one. Geeks? Zero.
While we were taught in business school to get to the "win win", and that are no "losers", we all know that day in and day out, this is just not the case. Life is about winning and losing. I guess I just hope in the final tally that my wins off set my losses. It's the competitive part of me.
But the question that plagues me is does there always have to be a winner? And what does it say about you as a person- if for one moment, one day, one relationship, you walk away from your pride,your arrogance, your ego, and you succumb to the fact that you care more than the other person.
Imagine the world we would live in. Just think of how powerful that would be.
I don't usually care (anymore) about being "right". I care about being happy. I find this offsets a lot of arguments.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I think your observation is "spot on" and we do, indeed, live in a competetive world. We've all been taught that winning is the goal in life since we've been children (hence awards, trophies, etc). But as an adult, I've come to believe that it really doesn't have to be this way. I find that the choice lies with us whether or not we want to "play the game". After all, if you're not playing, there cannot be any winning OR losing.
ReplyDeleteOver time, I've become more content with just making myself a better person in MY mind and not to care about what others view as being successful or not successful. I'm not quite where I want to be yet, but I'm getting there. As I do, I'm learning from each and every accomplishment, as well as mistake,that I build on along the way. Can that be considered the same as winning and losing?? Not in my book.
as a pleaser, this concept is tough for me. i know I lose, but often feel ok about that because I made someone happy. i have to stop worrying about making others happy, and focus on me. this makes me realize that. i've survived too long on crumbs. i may starve.
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