Don't look now!

My friend stood up in a bar the other night and because of a "shoe failure" slipped and fell down. She was horribly embarrassed and kept apologizing and saying she wasn't drunk. We didn't think she was.

Another friend,on another night, almost got us kicked out of a bar for making a scene over a sports score that didn't go the way he wanted it to go. He apologized later and said how embarrassed he was for his behavior. I had never given it another thought.

And yet another friend walked out of a restroom with her skirt tucked into the back of her underwear. Red faced and almost in tears, she, too, said how embarrassed she was. We all laughed.

Three separate incidents. But one word to describe them all. Embarrassment. It's kind of a funny word.

My friend who almost got us kicked out of that sports bar, has an observation on it. He feels that if no one sees it- there is no embarrassment. True? For if you slip in your own home, yell at your own TV or have a clothing malfunction in your closet, who's the wiser?

I think on this one, I have to agree. After all- I can be angry with myself for doing something stupid when alone- but embarrassment? Not so much. That embarrassing feeling only happens when you look up and know that someone saw the stupid move, heard the mispronounced turn of phrase, or participated in the awkward situation.

So the next time you see me- don't watch too closely. For I'd hate for my actions to cause me embarrassment. And that can only happen when you are looking!

Relationships

I am always fascinated when people tell me they don't want to be in a relationship. "Hmm", I think. "Isn't every interaction we have with someone, some type of a relationship? And isn't the fact that we are even having a mere conversation suggest some type of relationship, now matter how minimal?"

Maybe it's the type of relationship that they are pushing back on. After all- there are many kinds of relationships -romantic, friendly, adversarial, casual, etc., the list goes on and on.

So how do you clarify when someone says they don't want a relationship what they really want?

A friend of mine had been seeing a man for about 3 months when he told her he didn't want a relationship. Yet he didn't stop calling or seeing her. In fact, nothing really changed in their lives at all, that she could see. She was stymied about this until she finally asked him what was the purpose of the "big speech" that he had made about relationships.

"Well", he said. "I love being with you. I just don't want a relationship".

"What do you think we have?", said she, exasperated to the point of directness.

"What do you mean?" replied he. "This isn't a relationship. It's just us."

And so it goes. Will we ever know what a true relationship is? And how special all the different types of relationships are that we have? Our lives are fuller and richer for those people who pass through them over the course of time and for those that stay for the long haul. Be they friends, lovers, teachers or even adversaries, we learn and grow from every type of relationship that we have.

I personally value all the different types of relationships in my life. They make up the mosaic that is me. When people tell me I have a good life, I always laugh. For my life is not so much a entity unto itself- but more a weave of people who I am in relationships with and for whom I am forever grateful. For this journey called life that we are on, is always better when there are others along for the ride. Here's to relationships and all the smiles, tears, heartache, confusion, humbleness and laughter that comes along with them!